Just wanted to post a quick update on how I'm doing, since it's been a while...

Lately I've been feeling like shit... Odd choice of words concerning my condition. I won't lie to you, I've always had digestive problems, born with a shotty system from the start... but nothing like this has ever happened before. Lately I've been having a problem with... going. On and off over the past couple of weeks. Now this is kinda the norm but it's been getting really scary. Before my body would flush and that would be that but now it can't do it without... aid and sometimes, it tries it's damnedest but to no avail and quite recently; I've been getting a weird, tugging feeling, in the corner of my colon, on the left side.

Through all of last night, it's been tugging at me and this morning, it started on the right and it feels like... a multi-car pileup a top a rickety old bridge comes close...

Now I haven't puked or anything like that and I did go a bit last night but I'm feeling worse by the minute. I'm hot, sweaty, I can't warm up when I'm cold and I can't cool down when I'm hot. I'm gassy, my bowels are squeezing-tugging up down and sideways and my stomach is making sounds one usually hears when exorcising the dead, from the living.

Needless to say, I'm terrified. I haven't been this scared since the whole gallbladder incident 2 years ago... which I never really took care of the first time round. STUPID I KNOW! But hey if it wasn't for the fucking tech labs jerking me around the way they did, I would've taken care of it... of course, if I had kept up with my ID's, that could've fixed everything too...

AUGH! I hate this! I hate the system, the people I have to deal with, myself, EVERYTHING! I hate it with every fiber of my dysfunctional being and as if having all this hell hit me all at once wasn't bad enough; I just got off the phone with the snooty as hell receptionist at this new doctor who's a hell of a lot closer than my old one is. Apparently she has openings for next week and in the case that I'm "not feeling well" I should go to my previous doctor and like a putz, I just rolled over and said, "Oh... well... maybe I'll go do that then..."

*HEADDESK* What is it about the phone that makes me so god damn polite?! So now I'm screwed. The snooty little bitch had a good chortle at my expense, I look like an idiot and if I call her back and say the things I want to say, I'll have the cops in front of my door by the time I get dressed. T_T I miss the days when all it took was a good threat and you got whatever you wanted.

Yeah sure, it may not be the most "evolved" thing to do but damn it! Right now, all my instincts are saying, "You are critically ill. We can no longer function. Find. Mechanic." and all the mechanics are insensitive, immoral, legalized sadists that think that I'm just being a baby.

People. I've been tortured all my life by these bastards. All of them, (with the exception of one) has poked, prodded and INVADED my physical being, against my will, with all whole assortment of objects, with no regard for my mental well being and I'm just supposed to be fine with that? "So what if we have to mentally scar you with our vast array of torture devices that are going to hurt, a lot? As long as you get better, who cares?!" e_e Oh to be a fly on the wall when time comes their next rectal exam.

There is some good news however... Mother found a brand, spankin' new clinic that's just a couple blocks away from that new doc I wanted to see. Funnily enough, it's in the same place Dr. Stein and Dr. "Personality" used to work. Something tells me however, that I'm going to go to the hospital, regardless of their prognosis.

Anyways kids. I'm going to try and lie down, and get some rest before heading over there. I've been up all night because of this.